New Zealand
“i’m in my bedroom at 10:37pm and my friends just left and i just gave myself a stick and poke tattoo and all i can think about is how the pain of the needle pricking my skin doesn’t fill me like the pain of you choking back tears, shivering on my bed, as you told me you needed to make the decision so you didn’t self destruct.
but i’m so proud of you, and seeing you at that club in town at 2am was so good; your eyes were so twinkly and beautiful, your hair cut a little shorter, shaggier, homemade. and you grabbed my hand and told me immediately that you love me, and i told you i love you, too.
and the guy standing behind me would have probably ended up in my bed that night if i hadn’t have seen you from across the room and remembered just how much i don’t want anyone else to touch me except you, how much i miss the way your skin feels when it’s touching mine; your hands, thin and delicate and yet the strongest surface i know, the strongest grip I’ve felt.
fuck, i miss you.
and i know i’m gonna see you and kiss you again because we both want that to happen. i would just love that time to be now, right fucking now, i want it to be right now. the rose coloured glasses provided such a crystalline vision into my future, and now it’s like i’m inhaling molasses without you. but we’ll reunite someday and that someday will be the best day, just not right now.”
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