Portland, Oregon
“I was so lost in the fact that we had our little family that I couldn’t see I was stifling my creativity, my passions, and my dreams so that it could be the two of us. I didn’t move to Charlotte. I didn’t go to grad school immediately. I stopped my career. I lied to myself.
Now that I am free. I am trying to move on. Everything single guy I give a chance too has subtle reminders of what you put me through. Joking comment? The criticism that cut to my core. You look good babe? A reminder that I was just a beauty caught in a honey trap before. Loving moment? When’s this all crashing down on me. A tiny disagreement? I disappear.
It happened today with a good guy. He critiqued me because I kept trying to solve his problems. Like I had to solve all ours. I’m quick on my toes you see, but he wanted to figure shit out himself. He snapped some words of anger at me in the most mild sense of the word and I am now hesitantly waiting fo disappear.
I was going to have thanksgiving dinner with him, but your ghosts still haunt me.”
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