Birmingham
“You told me you were seeing someone new and they were coming to dinner with our friends that night. You introduced them to me, we ate and drank and then I cried the whole way home.
I don’t know what made me more upset: that you were my best friend I was in love with for four years…or the fact that you never told me you’re gay.”
Habersham, Georgia
“we still text each other’s moms every single holiday, but we’re too prideful to text each other. I’m missing you, though. I’m always missing you.”
Atlanta
“It’s Christmas night and I’m lying in my bed. I spent the whole day with my wonderful family and being showered with gifts. But I’m lying here unsuccesfully talking my tears into staying in my eyes all because I sat next to the tree watching my siblings open a dozen presents while I had one. I live a relatively lavish life and I’m so grateful, but all I can think about is “Did my parents forget about me?”
it’s Christmas night and I’m lying in my bed. I’m crying over not having enough presents, and I don’t know what’s worse, feeling like the unwanted holiday fruitcake or the complete idiocy and arrogance of my pain, but it hurts all the same.”
New Orleans
“I feel immense pressure to succeed. To climb the ladder. To progress. To be an example for all the women who will come after me. In my career, there are few women at the top, and I feel a lot of people looking to me. I often wonder why there aren’t more women. The more tired of my job, I realize the smart women move on because they realize their lives aren’t about being a martyr to change the cycle. I can’t decide if I want to be a model, or have my own shot at happiness. But it can’t be both.”
somewhere in Michigan
“I put the ring back on today. It’s heavier than I remember, but it feels like hope squeezing my finger tight, drawing me back into the vow I made three years ago…before we started hurting and losing and stonewalling.
We’re gonna find [fight] our way back, baby. It’s us against ourselves, and I think we’re finally winning.”
Colombus, Ohio
“And then he stopped the car, looked at me, and said, “you are my every what-if”.”