Author: timothee

Kentucky

“Do I really love him or do I stay bc I I left my marriage for him?

I would’ve left eventually anyway. I just expected more.”

Colombus, Ohio

“I keep holding my breath for the moment you realize that I’m too much work and I lug around twenty years worth of baggage that reeks of pain. I think I might pretend like its not there but some moments you catch whiffs of the stink and I cringe. If you open that baggage and see whats hiding, won’t you leave? There’s a part of me that wants you to; so I can prove to myself that I’m not love-able, that I’m better off alone. But there’s a growing part that begging you to open up all the bags and help me unpack. I don’t want you to do it for me, just support my folding and sorting. Oh, how that desire terrifies me.”

Birmingham

“You told me you were seeing someone new and they were coming to dinner with our friends that night. You introduced them to me, we ate and drank and then I cried the whole way home.

I don’t know what made me more upset: that you were my best friend I was in love with for four years…or the fact that you never told me you’re gay.”

Habersham, Georgia

“we still text each other’s moms every single holiday, but we’re too prideful to text each other. I’m missing you, though. I’m always missing you.”

Atlanta

“It’s Christmas night and I’m lying in my bed. I spent the whole day with my wonderful family and being showered with gifts. But I’m lying here unsuccesfully talking my tears into staying in my eyes all because I sat next to the tree watching my siblings open a dozen presents while I had one. I live a relatively lavish life and I’m so grateful, but all I can think about is “Did my parents forget about me?”

it’s Christmas night and I’m lying in my bed. I’m crying over not having enough presents, and I don’t know what’s worse, feeling like the unwanted holiday fruitcake or the complete idiocy and arrogance of my pain, but it hurts all the same.”

Colombus, Ohio

“And then he stopped the car, looked at me, and said, “you are my every what-if”.”